u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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