my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
zippers are such a cool invention
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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