Kiss
Puke
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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