consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
