How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
