I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
