420 ftw
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
