I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why did my mother make you get naked?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
