Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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