bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
