I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
