My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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