I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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