how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
