"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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