let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
