I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
