she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
