If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
