Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
