I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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