He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
