whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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