too bad you live with your parents still
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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