The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
