real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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