It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
