So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
