ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
