New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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