weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
