he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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