She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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