If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
