Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
