Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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