Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
