just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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