porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
