just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
