If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my being single is dangerous.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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