You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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