watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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