Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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