So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i will never coherently bang her
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
