on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
