I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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