Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
