the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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