chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
