I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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