Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
